enTabLadO ng iMahinaSyon @ rEaliDad

staggering

makasalanan.

f-feb2892jab

"I've just been imaginging that it was me you really wanted after all and that I was to stay here for ever and ever. It was a great comfort while it lasted. But the worst of imagining things is that the time comes when you have to stop and that hurts."

Isn't it nice that I have made memories with him that I could use to imagine we still are the way we used to be - very good friends. But, yes, it hurts that there'll come a time when all these good things come to a stop. I'm sure it'll. There'll come a time when I'd forget about them, and when imagining wouldn't make me feel better anymore, and that's when it'll stop.

"It's all very well to read about sorrows and imagine yourself living through them heroically, but it's not so nice when you really come to have them, is it?"

"There is no use in loving things if you have to be torn from there, is there?"

"My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes."

"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair."

I have had just the same thought like Anne of Green Gables. Hahaha! I thought that it'd be easier for me to be good to people, to kids, to my friends, to myself, to everyone if I were prettier, better-looking, have less darker hair. /sigh

It's a relief, really, everytime I remember that I have the same thoughts with someone.

f-feb2892jab

I wanna feel fine on the next days.

Oh, Lord, please make me okay.

The things that have been buggling me these past few days and maybe weeks are exhausting. Just thinking about it makes me wanna rest. Whew!

I can smell an ending. A good slash bad ending, that is.

And I'm so busted. I'm so caught.

sisimulan ko dito:

"But some things in this world
they dont make sense
Some things you dont leave until they leave you
And then the things that you miss."

                                         -bright lights, matchbox 20


resigned na ako sa euro-med. sa wakas.
hindi dahil ayoko ng magtrabaho o kaya dahil sa ayoko ng trabaho ko dun, pero dahil sa may mas mahalagang bagay akong dapat gawin.

eto talaga ang pangarap ko. bukad sa maakyat ang tugatog ng Mt. Apo, gusto kong maging doktor.
at eto na ang pagkakataon ko.

no'ng college ako, naiinip na ako sa kaaaral, gusto ko na agad magtrabaho para magkapera. pero no'ng nandoon na ako, namiss ko naman ang pag-aaral. mas madali kasing mag-aral kaysa magtrabaho.

nakakamiss ang pagpupuyat, ang pagkukumahog sa mga reports at assignments. hehe.


pero, ngayon na resigned na ako, namimiss ko naman ang trabaho at mga ka-trabaho ko sa euro-med.

hay ang labo talaga ng damdamin ng tao.

isa pa:

"And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here."

                      -i'm still here, john rzeznik.


pumunta ako sa school nung isang linggo pagkatapos kong magapply ng NMAT, dumiretso na ako sa professor ko sa anatomy para ibalita na mag-aaral na ako ng medicine. natuwa siya. sa wakas, may estudyante na siya na magiging doktor.

konting kwentuhan, balitaan. at siyempre, hindi niya ako nalimutang tanungin kung may GG (God's Gift/BF) na nga ba ako. tinawanan ko lang ulit ang tanong niya. habang naglalakd kami sa corridor, may nakasalubong kaming mag-jowa.
ay ang pogi ni kuya! pero yung babae...errr. natawa ako dun sa prof ko kasi siya yung unang nakapansin, tapos siya din yung unang "nanlait" hehe.

siyempre humirit naman ako.

"bakit siya ma'am may poging boylet, eh mas maganda naman ako sa kanya? pabiro kong tanong sabay tawa.

"eh baka naman may something dun sa girl na nagustuhan ng guy." sabi ng prof ko.

"bakit kaya wala paring nakakahanap sa'kin? parang napagiiwanan na ako ah." hirit ko ulet.

"baka kasi bukod sa hindi ka babaeng-babae, baka ang tingin nila sa'yo eh hindi ka magseseryoso.." sagot ng prof ko.



hala. napaisip naman ako. may mali ba sa itsura at kilos ko? mukha ba akong hindi magseseryoso?

bat girl.

sa pic na to siguro, OO. hindi ako seryoso. hek.

sarap kayang tumalon no'ng mga panahon na yan,
ikaw ba naman ang makakagradweyt eh, pero sige na nga, aaminin ko, medyo sinapian ako niyan.
ika-nga, HIGH.


syet. wala akong magawa, basta may maiblog lang eh.

its the first time i saw a server and the internal of it. here's some picutres.

guys in action.

Caric is the one who install the whole server.

that's part of his job at work. lol. its FREE LABOUR here. lol.

chips

and more chips

Kevin, the RAM promoter. lol

fianl product

satisfied installer. lol. 

staggering

na natatakot pala akong hindi ka na makita ulit balang araw.

went to watch quarantine on friday. its scary, but storyline is expected. and its another infected kind of show. zzz. then for the weekend, was with dear. on sat, played army of 2 again and also bought left 4 dead. completed left 4 dead on sun. lol. still, halo is my favourite game. ;p

dear don't like such a life, being rotten at home. but i view it differently, at least im spending my time with someone i love and not wasting time at rotting. ;(

dear, im trying really hard to make you happy. to bring back the time you like most. just that i don't know what to do more. im a failure.

dull_soul

If you think you are unhappy, look at them